One Hand Washes the Other

After a long day working with a firm in St. Louis, a amount of advisors who I've gotten to know took me to a sports bar for burgers and beer. We had become friends over the practically two years I have been working with the firm. Burgers, beer, friends, baseball on Tv - not the worst way in the world to end the day.

Teddy, one of the advisors at the table seems to know everyone in the joint. He waves and says hello to habitancy at the bar as we grab a high top table. One of the guys at the bar comes over to us and Teddy introduces Steve. Seems like a good guy as he shakes hands, makes the rounds and returns to the bar. We eat, drink, laugh, and barely talk about anything firm related.

Train Table For Kids

Teddy needs to leave but offers to reconnect me to Steve because he works for a big firm and conception it would be a good networking connection. Cool! Teddy takes my firm card and brings it to Steve. He returns with Steve's card and says that Steve will return to learn more about my work and how I help reps network and grow their business. Teddy leaves and gets kudos for a job well done.

Steve returns to our high top and asks what I do. I turn it to one of the advisors at the table to see if he can talk on my behalf as a third party endorsement (kind of a recap of a conference I delivered earlier). Steve's reaction was indifferent as he turns to me and asks if I have a mortgage and if so, what's my rate? I asked why he wanted to know and he said that he could get me a low rate if I refinanced my house with him right then and there.

Now we all laugh because we think that Ted put Steve up to this since I tell a very similar story about a mortgage broker trying to shake me down for business. The funny thing was that Steve wasn't kidding. No joke. No put on. Steve persists as he talks about conversion rates and two to one ratios. He even implies that he would connect me to his firm if I did firm with him. Heck, the Cards were still tied with Atlanta in the third. I tell Steve that I'm not the least bit open to having this conference with him. He leaves me my firm card while taking his back. Of course, Steve leaves in a huff. We're still not sure if it was a put on or not but decided that it wasn't. No one could do such a great job trying to look so stupid.

Later, one of the advisors calls Ted to tell him what happened. Ted calls Steve. Steve mentions that I don't know how to do firm and don't understand the conception of "one hand washes the other". in effect Steve? So what did Steve accomplish?

Convinced me that his firm in effect does need me.

If his firm (a big firm by the way) allows, encourages, and even trains their reps (even the ones with a Vp title) to peddle mortgages at the local sports bar or wherever, it's losing sales, retention, and repute. Luckily, we don't see this sort of thing in the insurance industry.

Taught a group of advisors how to not do business, not make friends, and not get referrals.

Naturally, there are plenty of advisors and agents that designate to Steve's religious doctrine in the form of hitting habitancy over the head with scheduled appointments, fact finders, applications, and sales pitches. Bottom line - it doesn't work (not in the long run), you look bad, you play right into negative stereotypes, you come across as self centered, it isn't nice, and you lose firm - lots of it.

Lost a referral source (and possibly a friend).

I don't see Teddy referring Steve firm (if he ever has) any time soon or introducing him at his next dinner party. I'm sure Teddy was just a wee embarrassed to learn that an surface counselor that teaches advisors to network and build relationships was assaulted by his "former" friend.

Made it to the Million Dollar Round Table (Mdrt)

Steve became the occasion to my presentation the next morning for Naifa's Taste of Mdrt Conference. I got to tell a first time story and help over 250 advisors learn what not to say, what not to do, and hammer home that relationships come before sales. Could be a nice idea for a blog!

One Hand Washes the Other